It's never too late?
by KiwiiLady
Summary: Seras is depressed and about to do something drastic about it..
1. Chapter 1

**Yeah, umm, since when did I update on here..? Gah, I finally sat down and went through the story and fixed most of the spelling errors (I hope) and have also dug out my will to finish this. And well, yeah, that's it. Thanks to all who took their time to read and to those who reviewed! You made my day, honestly! ^__^**

**Well, on with the story! **

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My dearest friends...

First I will say that I love you all very much.

You are the light in my life, the light of hope that keeps me going when I'd rather give up. And so, I am sorry to say this, and you will probably be shocked and upset to hear that if you read this I've taken my own life.

Well...that is what I intend to do anyway, but you have to know that this is not your fault! I have taken my life for I wish not to live anymore.

I still love you all very much and I hope you will remember me...You will all have a special place in my heart which no one can take away.

With love,

Seras Victoria.

-'-'-'-

My dear Master.

Well, if you are reading this I am dead or soon will be, and that I no longer will be in your way again. You must feel relieved, since you have always hated me, mocked me, and done all sort of things to hurt me and show me that you don't care. Well, then I'll ask you this: why did you turn me? If I was such an irritating element in your life, then why did you turn me?

I really don't understand that, cause until now my (after)life has been twice as bad as it was before.

I know that I have let both you and Sir Integra down, and that I have screwed things up really bad, but I honestly did the best I could!

Obviously it was not enough and I am truly sorry.

But now you might wonder why I decided to take my life and where I might be, but that I will not tell you. I want to die alone in peace, somewhere nice and quiet. Not that you would care anyway...

I only have one thing left to tell you and it is one of the hardest to tell because it is so unnatural. Since you have caused me so much pain, it is so absurd that I love you... I love you with all my heart and soul. I don't know why I feel this and it's totally sick but I just do. It's strange really, because I should really hate you, for what you have done to me, but I can't. And I have wondered why. I still don't know the answer but now it's too late anyway.

I know you don't love me back, and that you will never respect me as an equal, and that really hurts! It hurts so bad that it feels like I'm going to explode and I can't live with it anymore! I just can't!

Surely you must have known this would happen eventually? You always read my mind to find something to mock me about. You probably think suicide is a coward's way to go down, but I don't care. Now at least I won't have to worry about impressing you and do my best. Not that I ever achieved that anyway...

Even though I should hate you with all I have, I don't, and I really hope your life will be better now that I'm gone.

With heart and soul, forever yours,

Seras Victoria.

-'-'-'-'-

Seras stopped writing, brushing away a tear of blood from her cheek, and put the letters in separate envelopes. One to her fellow teammates, and one for her Master. She had not written to Sir Integra or Walter yet, but she would do it later, after she had had some sleep.

She smiled a sad smile. Looking at the letters she thought about her rather miserably life, and that it soon would be over. She would finally get the peace she deserved. Still she would miss a lot of people, but this was the only way, she had to do it. For her own sake.

_I deserve to get some peace! I deserve some respect for crying out loud!_A tear found its way down her cheek, and angry she wiped it away with her hand. _I won't cry! I just won't! Not for him, not for anyone!_

She closed her eyes for a moment, determined not to cry and opened them slowly. She found her way to her dresser and put on her pajama, brushed her hair and went for the bathroom. As she walked out of her room she forgot the letters on the wooden table. She also did not notice the crimson eyes that stared at her from the shadowed corner of her room as she left...

Alucard walked out of the shadows as Seras closed the door. He stood in the room, looking around through his orange sunglasses, his crimson eyes searching the room when he saw two letters on the wooden table. _Hmm...What is my little police girl up to now? She don't have any relatives alive as far as I know, never have she mentioned any either..._He walked over to the table and picked up the envelopes. To his surprise he saw his name written beautifully on one of them in red ink, while the other one said: Hellsing Staff. Curious, which he wasn't very often, he opened the envelope with his name on.

As he was about to take the letter out of the envelope, he heard footsteps outside the door and Seras walked in.

When Seras saw her master stand there, in the middle of her room, she stopped dead in her tracks a look of surprise on her face. «M..m..master, what are you doing here?» She asked a bit frightened. _Was he there to have a go at her again?_Then her eyes fell upon the envelope in his hand and panic struck her. _Nooo! Oh God! What now?? Did he read it?? No..If he did then he wouldn't just stand there...right?_ Adrenalin rushed through her system and without thinking she threw herself forward, snatching the letter from a slightly shocked Alucard, and at the same time caused said vampire to lose his balance. They both fell to the floor and hit it with a loud **bang.**

Seras had closed her eyes and was slowly opening them. To her surprise she sat on top of Aluard's stomach, holding on to the envelope for dear life. Meanwhile, Alucard was spread on the floor, and as she looked at his face he had a strange look, something between amused and shocked. His sunglasses and hat had fallen of and were spread on the floor.

She couldn't help but notice how beautiful his eyes where, those crimson eyes could lure you in and take you deep...make you drown in the red...the red color of blood...

With a yelp she realized she had been staring and she blushed furiously. «I'm so sorry Master!» she piped and stood up rather fast. «It's okay» he said, his voice sounding really strange. «You sure took me by surprise» He smiled one of those signature smiles of his, «but I assure you, it won't happen again!» His smile grew wider and scarier, «Why don't you want me to read the letter? It has my name on it» His eyes narrowed, as he waited for an answer.

Most of all, he wanted to read her mind because there was always such fun, but he saw she had a really nervous and frightened look on her pretty face, a look he almost never saw on her. _This will be interesting..._

Seras was still clinging to the letter, like it was a treasure of unimaginable proportions. She was afraid, or, rather scared to death, even though she was already dead...but you know what I mean.

What was she supposed to say?

As she looked into those enchanting, mysterious eyes, she went totally blank. «I..I can't tell you» is all that came out of her mouth.

She saw an eyebrow being raised at her words, and she was certain he would read her mind, but nothing happened. _Why isn't he reading my mind? Can he sense something is wrong? Probably...Then why isn't he reading my mind? ...Oh...he wants me to __**tell **__him... as if!_

So they just stood there and stared at eachother.

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**Ok, all done, hope I got all the spelling errors, if not, don't hesitate to tell me! And thanks for reading! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi again! So I've updated this chapter, it's now longer and hopefully without too many spelling errors! Hope you like! And thanks for reading! ^__^**

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Alucard could clearly sense and almost see the tension radiate out of Seras body as hot fire. He had to admit that he was a bit surprised when she said she couldn't tell him why he couldn't read the letter.

_How dare she tell __**me **__what to do! I am her master! She is nothing but a fledging, and she is to do as she's told...right? Right! She is forgetting who I am and what I could do to her if I wanted! I could crush her into sand and then some! Not that I would do that, but she doesn't know that... How could I ever hurt such a beautiful being? Those big blue eyes are stunning, even I have to admit that... gah! What's gotten into me..? Anyway... she still can't tell me what I can and cannot do!_

Oh, how he wanted to read her mind and get this ridiculous thing over with, so he started to search her mind.

Feeling her master probing her thoughts, Seras quickly locked them up in her «vault» so to speak. She had learned over the years that it was a place her master could not reach, in the deepest depths of her mind. She had learned that all creatures had one, but only those smart enough knew how to use them. Luckily, she had Walter who helped her with that. And it annoyed Alucard to no end.

But it was not right that anyone could probe another beings deepest thoughts, it crashes with the idea of people having their own free will and that their mind is nothing but their own. So that her master could probe her thoughts was just unacceptable to her. And she had never regretted learning the skill from Walther, heaven knows what he must have gone through in his life, dealing with Alucard for all those years… No wonder Alucard held such high respect for him, even though he would never admit to it.

Finding only empty space in his fledgling's head, Alucard quickly became furious. «You are not to keep secrets from me, Police Girl!» he shouted at her. «If you do, you will be punished!» He was inches away from her face now. As he whispered in her ear, he said «and you know how much I enjoy bringing _**pain **__a_nd _**suffering **_to others... I would highly suggest that you don't get on my wrong side, because I would hate to ruin such a pretty face».

With that, he disappeared, leaving a cold chill in the room. Seras shrugged and wrapped her arms around herself, it was a long time since he had been so furious at her, the last time she could remember was when she had just started at Hellsing and didn't want to drink blood. She had long since accepted that now. It was a bit frightening, but Alucard was not one to mess with, that's for sure. She was just glad he had given up on the letter, for the time being. And besides, to him, it was just a letter; she couldn't really see why he **had **to read it. For all he knew, it could just be a… resignation letter or something. _Yeah, as if he'd believe that!_

_-'-'-'-_

Meanwhile, Alucard stepped out of the shadows and into his chamber. He was beyond furious; he was on the verge of exploding with fury!  
Walter should never have taught her that trick! It was bad enough that she could stop him from finding the deepest secrets she had, but now when he really needed to know something, she could just lock them up! It was not fair, not at all! She was his, and his alone. What right did she have to keep something private from him!

_Well, I don't own her mind…unfortunately.. But still, she should be able to tell me if something is bothering her. I'm not that scary or menacing, am I? … oh who am I kidding! I'm the strongest, most dangerous vampire in the world, of course she fears me! And she's right to fear me; I could kill her without breaking a sweat. Although she's come out of her shell since she first came here, so I guess were on the right path at least. Still!  
He slammed his fist into the wall, creating a big hole in the process. He kicked of his boots and tossed his coat on the wooden chair. Frustrated he lay down in his enormous coffin, wondering what Seras was up to.  
__Well, she can't hide it forever. And maybe I could pester Walter to snoop around? Meh, probably not, he sees her as a daughter, and would never violate her trust I guess. He is just too good of a butler that man.._Sighing, he relaxed into the soft sating cover in his coffin. 

«Sometimes I don't get you Seras… even though at first you appeared to be quite simple minded, I guess you're not.. heh, which is a good thing actually, wouldn't had any use for some creature unable to form a thought, there's enough ghouls out there for that!»

___And there I'm talking to myself again… but she has become very dear to me, I'll admit that, and she can hold her own in a battle for sure. I must admit, I'm very proud of my little fledgling, she's grown to become a vampire deserving of respect. And quite a beauty too… But that Pip what's-his-name… the looks he's sending is quite disturbing. Doesn't he know what consequences there will be if he ever dares to lay a hand on what's rightfully mine? Sometimes I can't help but to wonder whether or not he has a death wish. Frenchmen! I've never liked the lot anyway! But the next time I see him so much as smiling at Seras… there will be blood flowing and it will certainly not be mine!_

A grin, the trademark of him, slowly appeared on his face, oh yes, it would be so wonderful to be able to feel the crushing of bones under his fingers…there had been way too little killing to do lately, and he was beginning to get pretty restless, which was why he was snooping around and being generally annoying. But it was always much fun in pestering Seras and making her embarrassed. Walter was way too calm and collected, and his master, well, she could just order him away and then he had to leave in the end. Stupid seal and stupid Hellsing family.

But the killings were all that amused him nowadays. Until now. That letter had made him pretty curious, it had his name on it after all, and she wouldn't let him read it? What nonsense was that? It had his name on it! But he would leave it be for now, she seemed very protective of it but he was certain he'd find out about it sooner or later. Afterall, Seras was never the one who was good at keeping secrets.

Or so he thought.

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**Okei, so, an updated chapter, hope it's decent at least! :3 Thanks for reading and reviewing, it makes me a happy girl! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm back with chapter 3! A bit of a filler chapter really, but I still enjoyed writing it :) Thank you so much for the comments and everything! It really made me happy (and giddy) because it means someone actually reads the story ^__^ And that you like how I write them also makes me happy. I tried to keep them in character and still do as I want with the story! So hope this chapter isn't too disappointing, if so, let me know okay? ;)**

**On with the show!**

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After a good days sleep, Alucard felt a lot better and quite refreshed, for a vampire that is. But still, it was that envelope with his name on it, and hadn't there been one with Integra's name on it too? _Quite a mystery this turns out to be… Maybe I'll go and pester her until she breaks and tell me? Oh yes, a good plan for the night! _With a mischievous smile he disappeared in shadows, only to reappear in the shadowed corner of Sera's bedroom. To his disappointment it was empty and his smile disappeared. «Hmp.. never here when I want to bother her…» He silently mumbled before he got the brilliant idea to search around.

_Well, well, well, let me see what I can find here, what Seras don't know won't hurt her... _With a snicker he searched the little room, but came up with nothing, only a few books and pictures of her and the crew, and that lousy Frenchman… He silently set the photo on fire and plopped down on the only chair in the room. Her room wasn't that different from his, only his coffin was larger and much more extravagant and beautiful, if he'd say so himself.

He scanned the room with his eyes; coffin, photos, dresser, table… dresser! He eagerly got out of the chair and over to the wooden closet. He opened the first drawer and found only sweaters and uniforms, in the next pants and jeans, but in the third, not only did he find some very nice lacy underwear, but also at the bottom there were some envelopes.

_Jackpot! You should know better than to keep private letters in the bottom of your underwear drawer, where anyone could find them Seras, it's just not a safe place to hide things… Especially, when you're trying to hide something from __**me**__. _

As he reached for the letters he saw that there weren't only a letter for him, but also for his master, Walter and …_Pip.. Grrr, that Frenchman is really getting on my last nerve! Let's see what kind of letter she'd write to __**him.**__ It better not be a love letter or else...! _He took the envelope saying "Pip Bernadotte" on the front and ripped it open, not bothering to make sure it stayed intact. With a grim expression he read and a snicker was soon heard in the silent room.

_Dear Pip._

_I'm sorry, but I don't love you as anything more than a friend, my heart belongs to someone else. Please forgive me._

_Sincerely,_

_Seras Victoria._

«I guess that _famous _French charm just didn't work on my Seras, too bad for you…» With a snicker he re-sealed the envelope to its former state, and sat down on the wooden chair again. _Being a vampire does have its perks, she'll never know I read it… quite handy in situations such as this, even so, it's strange there wasn't any letters from that Pip, I'd love to read about him pouring his heart out and then BAM, my little fledgling ripping it out… And thinking about my fledging, where is she today? I don't seem to recall any missions were to be done today. Hmm.. _

As the last thought crossed his mind the door slammed open, revealing a panting, sweating Seras with a ripped uniform. Finding her master in her room **again**, and with all of her letters too, shook her to the core. Taking a deep breath, which didn't help in the least, she finally snapped.

«MASTER! What are you doing in my room, and what are you doing with my letters, those are private, you can't just barge inn here and OH MY GOD, you went through my underwear drawer, how could you?! Don't you have any shame?? My day was awful and then I find you here, acting like you have the right to do as you fucking want! I'm sick of this, get out! And leave those letters on the table, don't you dare take them with you, don't you **dare**! I wrote them, they belong to me! »

Panting and standing just inside the door, Seras looked utterly furious and tired, but more furious than tired he had to admit. He got up from the chair and walked over to her, then he smirked.

«Well, first of all, I didn't barge in here as you so rudely accused, I materialized, a totally different thing. And second, I've never had any shame to begin with so there really isn't anything to do about that. And third, I **do** have the right to do as I want because I'm more powerful than you! And besides, nothing for you to be angry about, those are some really nice panties you've got. » With a smirk he then disappeared into the shadows, leaving a flustered and embarrassed Seras in his wake.

«N, nice…panties…!» With a shriek Seras slammed her drawer shut and slumped down in the chair her master previously sat in. Heaving a sigh she took the letters making sure they were not opened or harmed in any other way.

_Good grief, I can't believe he went through my stuff, and my underwear no less! How embarrassing! Nice panties huh? At least the letters are unread. Thankfully, I made it in time; I knew it was right to follow my feeling of dread! As I've said before, never underestimate a woman's intuition! Hmp… His life sure will be better when I'm not around, and that he'd go to such great lengths to embarrass and harass me… he doesn't have to show that he hates me so plainly! He could at least be a bit more subtle…_

Holding back a sniffle, she took the letters, putting them inside one of her many pockets on her uniform. It would do for now, she'd be going out and never returning tomorrow anyway, so no point in hiding it too well. With that she got out of the dirty and smelling uniform, tossing it in a heap next to her bed. _Man, Pip sure can keep you panting and wishing you didn't agree to train with him! And making me promise not to use any powers…not fair! I can't help it if I'm naturally stronger than him. I hope he won't take my letter too heavy…_

With those last thoughts, the lid of her bed, or coffin as it really was, closed shut and she closed her eyes, drifting into a dreamless state.

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**Yep, as I said, filler. xD But I also like to write them arguing, cause I always imagine Alucard to be slightly childish and sarcastic at the same time, but maybe that's just me? x3 Anyway, if you spotted any typos, let me know! And please read and review, makes me a happy girl! (and I totally forgot to do my japanese homework for this!) So you better appreciate it! x3**

**Until next time~**


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